Book five.

[MillenniumMan]

.... and sees the transvestite step into the pool of Whiskey. Sarge lights another match and tosses it into the pool of Whiskey, engulfing the transvestite.

Sarge then exclaims "Anybody brought some marshmellahs?"

Then a fat man named Chris wearing a bear hide walks into the bar and says "Man, it was chilly out there! Hey cool, a fire to warm myself by! But why is there a transvestite running around on fire screaming his head off?"

And Sarge says.....

[angeryamerican]

WTF? You people simply cannot be left alone.

[AD]

WTF? You people simply cannot be left alone.

Hey we learned from the best!!!!

Wait until you get back 4 months from now and see were this goes.

Tell Phil to stop in a read to see if, he is interested starting a new successful series...... We are sure this will sell.

[kickstand]

And Sarge says "Oh, that? We always try to keep a little fire running. If you let them go out, they can be a real bitch to start up again."

Just then, they hear the unmistakable sound of a Harley-Davidson motorcycle. It gets louder and louder. Everyone in the bar just looked at each other as the bike makes it's way into the bar, carrying a crusty looking guy in the saddle with his face covered.
"What's with the veil, princess?" asked Sarge. "You here looking for Prince Charming?"
"It's not a veil, asswipe, its called a shemagh. It keeps sand and other shit out of my face. You got a problem with that old man?"
With those words, the rest of the crew in the bar started looking for an escape route. Well, everyone but Terri the Tranny, who was now behind the the counter spaying him/herself down with Mountain Dew, trying to cool off some of the hotter spots.

"Old man!?" roared Sarge. "I'll show you Old Man you little puke!". As Sarge rushed the stranger, the stranger surprised everyone by grabbing Sarge in a bear hug, squeezing him tight, effectively immobilizing him. He then kissed Sarge on the cheek and said "Hi there. I'm Jeff Collins. How ya doing?"
At this, Sarge exploded with every cuss word in the English language, and a good number that weren't.
Jeff started laughing as he let the red faced Sarge go. "Let's start over. Can I buy you a beer?"

[MillenniumMan]

WTF? You people simply cannot be left alone.

Oh, we can be left alone boss. You just won't like the result very much.

Now, let's continue Sarge's nightmare (IE; Book six)


....."Let's start over. Can I buy you a beer?"

Sarge yells "Buy me a beer? Over there you've got a man in a bearskin, a frog with a two foot pecker, and what is literally a flaming homosexual in that corner covering himself in Mountain Dew! You think I want something to drink from here?!?! You probably put something in it an' it ain't even opened yet!"

The man in the bearskin picks up the jar of peanut butter off the bar and tells Meathead to follow him outside.

"I'm gonna go play fetch with Meathead. Wanna tag along, Sarge?"......

[AmericanBTGoG]

"May as well. Nothing for me to drink in here and I need to get a cigar from my ride anyway."

Jeff says "Ride? Where are you parked? I'm the last one here and there wasn't any ve-hicles outside this joint."

"Waddya mean?" With that, Sarge and Jeff race to the door, bearskin dude lumbering behind. "Holy Mary...." Sarge bellows.

[unseenone]

https://www.facebook.com/frogspoolhall

Actually has signs in front of it, prohibiting the parking of horses. I've seen horses there, quite funny.

[kickstand]

https://www.facebook.com/frogspoolhall

Actually has signs in front of it, prohibiting the parking of horses. I've seen horses there, quite funny.

Very odd, the part about horses only shows up when I quote it.

http://www.senorfrogs.com

[unseenone]

That's not the same place, it's a hole in the wall. I'll be clearer..

[kickstand]

"Waddya mean?" With that, Sarge and Jeff race to the door, bearskin dude lumbering behind. "Holy Mary...." Sarge bellows.

"Them two idjits that were supposed to be watching my six must've bailed and gone joy riding with my buggy. Dipshits are probably down at that toad titty bar I saw on my way here. How the hell two grown men can find toad titties exciting is beyond me. Anyone wanna hike down there with me and watch an old fashioned ass kicking?"

Morgan, Jeff and Chris all decided to go with Sarge. Terri was still smoldering inside, and no one invited him. Thad the Cat hopped up on Meathead's back and laid down between his shoulder blades, obviously feeling too important to walk the mile on his own feet. Although annoyed with Thad, Meathead decided that it was better than his original plan of eating peanut butter, so he just went with the program and followed the four men.

About half way to their destination, they passed a young girl carrying a basket, dressed all in red, heading the other direction. Chris warned her that there was nothing behind them except for the run down dive that they just left.
"I know" said the girl. "I'm s'posed to go get my uncle Terri and bring him home for dinner."
"Well, watch yourself, Red" warned Sarge. "I hear that there's some real sick folks around here that would love to meet a young girl like you."
"Thanks mister, but I've got this" she said, as she pulled a Glock out of her basket. Morgan and his friends all side stepped past the girl and continued on the way.
After about 10 more minutes of walking, the group came to the mostly empty parking lot of Frog's Topless Toad Bar. However, right up next to the entrance was Sarge's buggy.
Sarge started walking a lot faster towards the entrance. The others in the group really had to hustle just to keep up. Sarge burst through the door and roared....

[Betty Buckshot]

Sarge burst through the door and roared.... 'what in the hell are you dumb asses doing in a toad titty bar? who's supposed to be watching my six?'...the whole bar went quiet...the toads quit dancing...the patrons froze...

Suddenly, a girl in the corner pulled out a sawed off shotgun and took a shot at the nearest toad. The toad was totally focused on the angry men at the door. Blasted into oblivion w/ not even a decent frog leg left for cooking...the toad exploded all over the formerly excited audience.

At the sound of the blast, ...the other semi-naked toads sprang from the stage into the crowd causing the patrons to come to life. Melee insued. Sarge bellowed out a command....

[W.Lynn]

WTF? You people simply cannot be left alone.

Here's a cheery thought for ya.

If you think they're bad when you're distracted, just wait and see how bad it looks when you get back.

[AmericanBTGoG]

"Awright, dipshits! Drop that fox and pull up your socks! Move it, move it, move it! Everybody run, the homecoming queen's got a gun!" In a lower, but equally clear growl, "My guys, rally around me. And for Pete's sake, bring Shotgun Annie over here."

[airdrop]

A LITTLE LATE TO THE PARTY , As Morgan rounded the corner of the shed he smiles then " HOLY JESUS WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HOME"

[AD]

Man you are slacking off. Finished it already. You really need to put more effort into writing more in each book.

The good part of the First to Read program is I dont have to spend money on this shit

Good work Sheriff.