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  • Greetings O Cohorts

    co·hort
    ˈkōˌhôrt/
    noun
    1.
    an ancient Roman military unit, comprising six centuries, equal to one tenth of a legion.
    synonyms: unit, force, corps, division, brigade, battalion, regiment, squadron, company, troop, contingent, legion, phalanx
    "a Roman army cohort"
    2.
    a group of people banded together or treated as a group.


    I am here because I got kicked off City Data for telling a politically incorrect joke about how to pronounce Woscestershire sauce. Now, I am glad because I found this place. People are nice here and the subjects are of great interest.

    So.... well.... Being a nurse, preparedness sort of comes with the deal. My place in Oregon backs up to five adjoining natl. forests totaling 11,780 square miles. You can feel the vastness stretching out green of forested mountains and rivers. And to the west, the Pacific, where you can practically see the curve of the Earth. My place is up an isolated valley of an isolated county. The Cascadian Subduction zone runs right under. I grew up a few miles from the San Andreas and to me, earthquakes are fun as long as nothing falls on you. Bring it on. Also, I got burned out of my place in Texas in the 35 sq mile forest fire in 2011. One thousand seven hundred houses burned down. I was IN that fire, no one evacuated me. It was pretty wild. My little truck pulled flaming trees off the road. I also experienced Hurricane Ivan. Actually, I went to Hurricane Ivan. Not for a party, but to sit at the feet of god. I spent the night tucked up under a highway overpass in a forest of the Florida panhandle. I was also in the eye in that same forest. I learned this- in the heart of destruction there is creation. And in the heart of creation, there is destruction. Thats just the way it is. So best to be prepared.

  • #2
    Wow, well, seeing as you've done almost everything else, might as well for for the Earthquake. Send picture of house in the woods LOL. Almost lost our place in the same series of fires in TX. Pics on here somewhere.. That was a rough few days, I'm glad you survived. Welcome

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    • #3
      Hello, and welcome. If you've been gone for long, you missed out on all our lovely rain & floods.

      My place still smells like smoke much of the time, but I think that has something to do with neighbors who are non-cooking individuals and insist on owning grills anyway.

      Hell, some of 'em may have started a few of those fires.
      quam minimum credula postero

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      • #4
        Welcome.

        You join an elite band. Looks like you're one of the members who have disasters following them.

        No worries. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Or something.
        "“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” – Thomas Paine

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        • #5
          Hello and welcome .
          7734290248_2bfa35b6de_n.jpg
          When the present determines the future, but the approximate present does not approximately determine the future: Edward Lorenz

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          • #6
            Ha ha! The year before the fire I was on my way to work and I stopped at the dump to get rid of some trash. You back up to a cliff and throw it off to giant steel containers below, Well, I don't remember how, but I do remember that dump had no rails and the top of the wall was slippery sand. I fell off and flipped head downwards onto bare steel 16 feet below. My head was caved in, arm broken with bone sticking out and pelvis broken. They found me in a pool of blood, I was flown out on the helicopter to the ICU where I used to work. Was put on a ventilator with a drain in my head. But I have no memory of the fall or of the next three weeks. Isn't that a blessing? Darn, I always wanted to ride in our helicopter. And finally did get to go and don't even remember it. But you are right. It did make me stronger. Now I am a total bad ass.

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            • #7
              OK here is my account of the forest fire I had the pleasure of experiencing

              In 2011 there was a terrible drought, the worst in Texas history. After so long without rain, the trees of the piney woods were dying and were as flammable as gasoline. Then came a hurricane off the coast, 40mph winds were blowing. Miles away in the forest in this blast of dry wind, power lines touched because they sagged so much in the heat. Sparks fell, and a 35 square mile forest fire started. I fought this fire and lost, wearing flip flops and a sundress.

              It all started as an afternoon of beautiful rosy orange light. I thought ah, it is the golden Autumn light. It was not. An hour later I smelled the smoke. I went out on the Park Road and up Bike Wreck Hill. It looked like stars were falling in the woods. Everywhere, little fires were landing on the pine needles. I went back to my house and called my friend Jared and asked" Wheres the fire?" He said "What fire?" A few minutes later he called back and said "You better get out. It looks like its coming down the Alum Creek watershed".

              Jared came with his stock trailer but the horses were too nervous to get in. As we tried to load the frantic horses, off about a quarter mile away we heard a strange hissing roar. We heard it go by like a freight train, from the north to the south. Later we learned that was a crown fire running on a 40 mile an hour wind. A crown fire is a storm that rolls through the woods like a horizontal tornado. The heat from it explodes all the trees in front of it, and it travels faster than the wind. This was one of many crown fires, and it blew all the way to the river and jumped it. If it had been 1/4 mile further east, this tale would never have been told.

              I told Jarad, "Why don't you go on back to the ranch, I will bring the animals". I loaded the milk goats into the goat carrier on my truck, and loaded the chicken cage on top of the goat carrier. I went to the lizard house and caught my giant carnivorous Water Monitor, BigAssLizard, and stuffed the hissing, thrashing creature into a king size pillow case. I took the two stallions and led them holding their lead ropes out the window of the truck at a run. I led them two miles to the safety of Jared's ranch, where I have known the family living there for 32 years. Then I went back for the remaining 4 birds. And the emus. But how could I load the emus? Papa, Mama, Kicking Bird and Diniwan? I could not. The poor emus!

              I gathered 2 more hens from their coup, caught the raven and the songbird and loaded them in pillowcases. My brave little Whippet bitch was at my side. When I drove back up to the park road, night was falling, it was smokey and strangely dark. At the end of the driveway I drove right into Hell. The fire had come over the hill and raged on both sides of the road. Tall pines were burning from crown to foot. Continuous showers of sparks flew off them like Roman candles. Tree trunks exploded with loud bangs, burning shards of wood flew through the air. The fiery wind was blowing hard as the heat increased. Flaming trees were falling across the road right and left. I turned and went the other way. Same thing. So I drove back down to my place and got the chain. Going back into the fire, I wrapped the tow chain on burning trees and pulled them off of the road with my little red truck. And no I was not scared. I was mad. Mad at the fire. Mad at what it was doing to the forest. A chemical reaction. Not the wrath of god, no, just a reaction of physics. Starting from some idiotic little spark.

              Eventually, I came to trees too big to drag. My truck could not budge them. The heat and smoke were getting intolerable. I got my cell phone, called 911 and asked "What do they suggest I do"? The lady said "Stay where you are, we will send someone to get you". I said, "No, thats alright, don't risk anyone". She said "Stay there, don't worry, we will send someone". I said "No thanks thats alright" and hung up. I simply could not stay where I was.

              I went back to my house. It was still there! From the north a low line of fire was coming down the hill . So I went and got two buckets, and carried loads of water from the horse trough. I stopped that fire 20 feet from my house. Just then, lights came bouncing through the smoke. It was policemen, three state troopers and a sheriff. They said Come on! Come on! Lets go! I went with them, but they let me go back to my truck. They said to go to Smithville to the 'Rec Center'. So I drove east down HW 71 toward Smithville. I appreciated what the police had done. They had moved flaming trees off the road that I couldn't move. But it seemed to me that the Wreck Center was back at my place. I had been having such good results with those two buckets. And the emus! So I turned on KLBJ road went back on the park road.

              After Alum creek it was the end of the world. It looked like the land of Mordor in the last battle. Flames writhed in the forest like demons, like huge dragons in their monstrous fire. I could not drive through that tunnel of fire. So I parked my truck back at the creek where the fire had already burned through. I ran the quarter mile to my land. No I was not afraid then. I have been in forest fires before, as one of the ad hoc volunteer fire fighters. Or in controlled burns. But this was no controlled burn. I was cautious but made my way through, mostly on the road. Flaming trees fell in explosions of sparks. But if you see one fall, that means it hasn't fallen on you. And you go on. And my little dog was still with me.

              My house incredibly was still there. I could even see the flames of the fire reflected in it's windows. So I started in with the buckets again. But before my eyes, I saw the points of the flames change direction on the wind. And from the west and coming fast, was a wall of fire 20 feet high. I cannot handle this I said to myself. But then, a crazy thought took over. People are not in their right minds in a fire. We are like horses running back into a burning barn. I turned to face that wall of fire with my two buckets, narrowed my eyes and said Bring It On.

              Just then, the lights came running though the smoke again. It was those same policemen! How did they know? They said, "Look! There's her dog!" I said "You again!" They said "You Again!" I said "Its OK, I was doing fine". The trooper looked into my eyes and said "No you're not, You're fixing to die". I ran with them up the road, but stopped and bent down and held my knees. I was so tired, I could not breathe. There was no oxygen. They came back and stayed with me and told me to run. That wall of fire was coming fast from the west and right next to the road. There were more police waiting on the road and they ran to their cars. They would not let me get back in my truck this time. I said "Wait! I have animals in my truck!" "What kind of animals?" "Birds" I said. "We don't allow birds in the police car". I thought of all the jailbirds they had had in that car. I said "They are chickens! They are in pillow cases! If this was a police dog you would let him right in!". Sometimes you get a view of yourself from the Universe, arguing with police in the middle of hell. So I just got in with the birds.

              They took me to Smithville Hospital, and got me evaluated for smoke inhalation. I am a nurse. I had already treated the burns on my legs while I waited for the doctor, and the other nurses approved of this. Then the police took me to that shelter. The people there had to document everything, what kind of animals I had, what were their names. I told them the names of the chickens, and that the Raven was a chicken. They did not check. They were very kind. They gave me food and water and gave me my own room and the birds upside down laundry baskets to stay in. I slept like a downed log.

              The next day, the highway and all the roads were closed. The fire had moved south but was still out of control. My truck was 10 miles away, so I snuk around the police and walked back. I got a ride part way from a news photographer. Of course my place was burned up. But the emus were still alive! And not even hurt! How could they live? Then I saw where the wall of fire had come through, ash and bare black sticks that used to be tree trunks. It looked like an atomic bomb had gone off. Then I realized, how could I have lived?

              So I went to the ranch where my animals were. Boiling black clouds like a huge storm front were behind the hill. The family was in a panic. The brothers had a crazy theory that the fire would not get the ranch buildings. The grass on the hill was all gone because of the drought and the fire would go around. Yet those people drove off in a hurry. Jarad told me I should go with them but I said "I'm not leaving you, Jarad". Jarad had been my friend for 32 years. He had once taken care of me for months when I was hurt so bad in an accident and got out of the hospital. He had been a gallant horseman who helped me with my animals as long as I had known him. No way would I leave him there alone. Although I had my doubts about their theory. I went into the house and retrieved my big lizard out of the shower where I had stashed her, just in case. We took refuge in Jarad's truck and pulled it out into a graveled area.

              My suspicions were well founded. Because what came over that hill was a monster of fire, a crown fire said by distant witnesses to be 80 feet high. It raced across the pasture. Tornadoes of fire twisted and ran eerily along the fire line. The stored hay crop on the hill went in an explosive flash. The wall of flame roared through the corrals and burned the very soil. It burned down to mineral soil. Oh yes, it took the whole ranch, killed my milk goats when the barn was destroyed, burned the ranch house and the tractor and all the out buildings. When the smoke shifted for an instant every single thing we could see was on fire. I wanted to get out of that truck. I wanted to save things. Set the horses and animals free to run, to save the painting of the bull that hung in the house, and Jared's guitars. And where was my dog? But I was afraid. Thats when I was afraid. The smoke was so thick we could hardly see the windshield wipers. Neither of us could easily draw a breath, but we both pretended like nothing was wrong. There was nothing we could do. The horses, my beautiful black stallion and his pony friend, and Jarad's cowhorse and his old red horse.... The fire had burned through their corrals, they must have died a horrible death. I was crying. But when the wind shifted the smoke, there they were, still standing up! They had burns on their feet, and their tails were shorter. Later, in the evening, my chickens started to come from everywhere. How did they live?

              Jared and I slept that night, with the fire still burning in the woods here and there, on saddlepads on the sidewalk of the smoldering ranch house. Later, we fixed the calf hospital to be a sort of a house. There was nothing else. Not even a hollow tree.

              My friends showed up from south of Houston within 3 hours the next day, and brought a generator, a field kitchen, and fed us like kings. They built an outhouse over the septic tank with a flush toilet and even a shower. They pulled the still smoldering tree trunks off the roof of the calf hospital. I went to town on a 100 mile round trip for supplies and hay. Because country people know the back roads around the roadblocks. And we have livestock to feed and care for, we will not leave them. I came back with bales of hay stacked above the cab and groceries for the people and pain medicine for the horses. And that deputy dog at the Antioch road intersection would not let me pass. "But that is the ranch right there!" I said, pointing to the blackened corner. "This is hay for the cattle, and pain medicine for the horses!" That cop would not let me pass. He said I could go back the way I came. Then I did something I had never done in my life. I narrowed my eyes like a bead and said "Fuck You!" Driving off down the side road, I got out with wire cutters and cut the fence. And I took other people who followed in their cars with me too, so they could get to their places. It was like a caravan across the blackened landscape. Later this track would come to be known by the local population as "The Scenic Route" .

              People of the countryside helped each other. Everyone was covered in soot. A cheerful woman showed up on a four wheeler with a tiny dog in a crate that was tied on the back. She had plastic rake, she said she used it to put out spot fires. She loaned us her chain saw. People who had food and clothes gave to those who did not. I made bird and deer feed and water stations. I found cut up apples and vegetables left on the feed by unknown benefactors. People showed up from out of state with trailer loads of hay and fed entire cattle herds.

              It has been weeks now. The forest is still on fire here and there but they put it out with helicopters. From here on this hill we can see 4 or 5 columns of smoke. BigAssLizard has a new house. The horse's feet are all healed up. All my chickens are running loose. I am grateful to those brave policemen who saved my life. My timid little Whippet bitch has shown she has the courage of a lioness.

              And all in all, what was lost was just stuff. Things come and go in life. My mother when she was retired used to periodically give everything she owned away and go off and start a new life. And unlike me, she did this on purpose. I can learn from this. Actually, it is quite liberating. My next house will be a treehouse in some other green woods. Not a crummy treehouse nailed to a tree, but a nice house up on telephone poles in the trees. Yes treehouses and forests can burn down, but so what? All this is part of Life on Earth. Part of the Entertainment.

              How do you like them apples? This was published and put in the Library of Congress for some reason, I guess because it is part of Texas history.
              Last edited by Elk Wallow; 08-28-2015, 11:11 AM.

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              • #8
                Welcome and glad ya made it ! Where I live is in "Cone of uncertainty" now I heard the weather guy call it " the cone of possability" Oh Boy!!!
                People without any brains do an awful lot of talking. Don't they?!
                ~the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz

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                • #9
                  Roach, we're in Florida. Everybody knows that means we are in the "cone of improbability."
                  "“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” – Thomas Paine

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                  • #10
                    I am in the Cone of Silence. I have a shoe phone, too.

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                    • #11
                      Well thanks for that story & welcome, Elk Wallow! It was quite the read.

                      All y'all Florida folks are gonna get some rain; it's gonna blow - but it may not even be a tropical storm according the report I just heard.

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                      • #12
                        Welcome to the board. I hope you enjoy yourself. We have all sorts of folks with varied backgrounds, so someone will surely have some experience or stories on just about everything. Feel free to jump right on in.



                        Tex
                        = 2
                        sigpic

                        If we cannot define a simple word like greatness, how can we ever hope to use it as a measuring stick to know when we have risen beyond average?

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                        • #13
                          Agent 99?
                          "“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” – Thomas Paine

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Elk Wallow View Post
                            I am in the Cone of Silence. I have a shoe phone, too.
                            i have an idea you're gonna fit in here just fine. Is your choice of paste Elmer's or LePage?
                            "“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” – Thomas Paine

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                            • #15
                              Howdy and welcome from AZ

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